Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
