I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
