just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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