i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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