My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
