went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
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Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
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When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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