So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
