just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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