Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
