her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
