i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
