Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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