dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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