Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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