I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize