Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
