The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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