Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
