You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize