i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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