So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
