i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Randomize
