She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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