I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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