you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
