You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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