Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
