He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
