She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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