She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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