I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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