Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
