your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
