Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
