it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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