I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i can't believe i had my finger in that
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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