shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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