Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Randomize
