you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
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in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
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I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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