I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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