Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
