This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize