He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
