I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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