Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
