Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
