Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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