these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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