Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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