Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
