This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
