But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
