I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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