did you get engaged???
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
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Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
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Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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