I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
is wine microwaveable?
two words: eviction party
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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