the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
