I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize