Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He better not be in your backpack
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.