Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?

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(617): My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned? http://tfl.nu/bm6r

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(201): View more from New Jersey

just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.

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(201): just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this. http://tfl.nu/pmcq

Replies (21) Good night (1363) Bad night (5743)
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(817): View more from Texas

Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.

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(817): Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again. http://tfl.nu/k3cq

Replies (20) Good night (3202) Bad night (1084)
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(812): View more from Indiana

obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date

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(812): obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date http://tfl.nu/sjjn

Replies (19) Good night (5294) Bad night (1207)
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(586): View more from Michigan

omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"

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(586): omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather" http://tfl.nu/v5jx

Replies (8) Good night (1556) Bad night (1065)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots

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(513): Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots http://tfl.nu/4z37

Replies (3) Good night (1459) Bad night (671)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer

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(+44): We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer http://tfl.nu/3muy

Replies (6) Good night (1290) Bad night (639)
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(254): View more from Texas

There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator

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(254): There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator http://tfl.nu/goje

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(240): View more from Maryland

and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.

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(240): and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore. http://tfl.nu/oorw

Replies (3) Good night (4237) Bad night (844)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.

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(604): Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome. http://tfl.nu/ktg3

Replies (5) Good night (1931) Bad night (662)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.

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(508): He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is. http://tfl.nu/qf8i

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(815): View more from Illinois

After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.

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(815): After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin. http://tfl.nu/me1g

Replies (3) Good night (1089) Bad night (596)
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(720): View more from Colorado

My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future

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(720): My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future http://tfl.nu/mos1

Replies (4) Good night (702) Bad night (511)
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(239): View more from Florida

The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.

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(239): The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die. http://tfl.nu/hid4

Replies (15) Good night (610) Bad night (1371)
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(905): View more from Ontario

I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with

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(905): I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with http://tfl.nu/izq7

Replies (1) Good night (611) Bad night (387)

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