wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
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Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
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All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.