Texts From Last Night

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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning

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  (709): I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning http://tfl.nu/z1rc
  Replies (9) Good night (2835) Bad night (627)
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  (310): View more from California

  kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.

  (1-310): View more from California

  damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.

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  (310): kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley. (1-310): damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now. http://tfl.nu/1545
  Replies (65) Good night (2590) Bad night (3524)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.

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  (215): Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire. http://tfl.nu/xwgk
  Replies (43) Good night (6929) Bad night (1071)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one

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  (573): dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one http://tfl.nu/jlbe
  Replies (54) Good night (11208) Bad night (1461)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?

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  (240): He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half? http://tfl.nu/4690
  Replies (48) Good night (4216) Bad night (1483)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him

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  (847): I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him http://tfl.nu/klkz
  Replies (12) Good night (1905) Bad night (3184)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.

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  (505): Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later. http://tfl.nu/q053
  Replies (25) Good night (1701) Bad night (3287)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him

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  (406): Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him http://tfl.nu/av2i
  Replies (2) Good night (1634) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.

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  (484): she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard. http://tfl.nu/xcqc
  Replies (4) Good night (1873) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor

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  (310): Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor http://tfl.nu/gni2
  Replies (7) Good night (634) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?

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  (515): I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life? http://tfl.nu/j85t
  Replies (3) Good night (738) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.

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  (316): She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool. http://tfl.nu/dtry
  Replies (2) Good night (754) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count

  (516): View more from New York

  then nothing in my life counts

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  (860): official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count (516): then nothing in my life counts http://tfl.nu/4fe8
  Replies (8) Good night (1908) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.

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  (202): She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family. http://tfl.nu/nmso
  Replies (4) Good night (952) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.

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  (501): You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns. http://tfl.nu/4e6u
  Replies (1) Good night (525) Bad night (289)

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