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• (970): View more from Colorado

  At what point did we cease to have vaginas?

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  why?

  (708): View more from Illinois

  so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  and my herpes radar will keep us safe

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (420): View more from

  then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"

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• (415): View more from California

  When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"

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• (516): View more from New York

  Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.

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• (718): View more from New York

  Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....

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