Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
