Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...

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(407): please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet... http://tfl.nu/oufp

Replies (14) Good night (3631) Bad night (643)
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(716): View more from New York

I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.

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(716): I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad. http://tfl.nu/kobd

Replies (15) Good night (1579) Bad night (2481)
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(214): View more from Texas

Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.

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(214): Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry. http://tfl.nu/h3dm

Replies (20) Good night (2532) Bad night (995)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.

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(978): Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you. http://tfl.nu/jevr

Replies (6) Good night (3693) Bad night (919)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex

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(215): I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex http://tfl.nu/v0s4

Replies (5) Good night (2405) Bad night (571)
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(207): View more from Maine

Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.

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(207): Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin. http://tfl.nu/qu7f

Replies (3) Good night (1154) Bad night (703)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.

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(204): We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day. http://tfl.nu/b3rk

Replies (15) Good night (3785) Bad night (621)
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(816): View more from Missouri

You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"

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(816): You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?" http://tfl.nu/o1ln

Replies (10) Good night (1835) Bad night (629)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.

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(859): You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep. http://tfl.nu/roy1

Replies (5) Good night (1206) Bad night (415)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire

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(734): Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire http://tfl.nu/5fup

Replies (6) Good night (1535) Bad night (445)
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(315): View more from New York

My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD

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(315): My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD http://tfl.nu/z1nh

Replies (10) Good night (1562) Bad night (463)
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(630): View more from Illinois

The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?

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(630): The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming? http://tfl.nu/32bs

Replies (2) Good night (612) Bad night (320)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?

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(320): I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy? http://tfl.nu/wlig

Replies (6) Good night (740) Bad night (237)
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(415): View more from California

You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.

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(415): You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men. http://tfl.nu/015e

Replies (4) Good night (934) Bad night (225)
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(909): View more from California

Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man

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(909): Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man http://tfl.nu/x5ba

Replies (3) Good night (400) Bad night (151)

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