Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
