It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
