Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
