woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
